


Ease

by orphan_account



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Best Friends, Fluff, M/M, Past Jean Kirstein/Eren Yeager, implied depression, jeanmarco
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-16
Updated: 2015-10-16
Packaged: 2018-04-26 13:39:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5006806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jean is a clingy, spontaneous, and self conscious twenty-three year old with terrible luck in relationships. His best friend of seven years, Marco, is vivacious and altruistic. He's always been there for Jean, in less ways then Marco wants to be. He has an undeniable crush on his best friend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ease

I lay in bed, re-reading texts from the previous months. The “i miss you”s and the “i love you”s still feel fresh and they cut through my skin like razors. I drop my phone from my hands and it lands beside my head with a small thud. Tears form in the corners of my eyes and this time I don’t will them away. I should’ve listened to the people telling me this was a bad idea and that “I would only get hurt” because they were right. After a few minutes of tears streaming down the sides of my face and staring at the ceiling, anger begins to pulse through me. This wasn’t my fault, this was all his fault! Without thinking, I throw back the covers and get out of bed, pull a some-what clean t-shirt and a pair of jeans on. I grab my car keys sitting in the same spot they always do and furiously walk out of my house. The drive to his house is short and my anger is still fresh. I knock on the front door loudly, ignoring the fact that it’s 7 a.m. on a Saturday because I didn’t slept at all last night. Eren opens the door after a few minutes, looking groggy and like he just woke up. 

“Jean, look I’m-” Eren begins when he sees me standing on his front porch, arms crossed and a frown plastered on my face. I don’t care what he has to say to me, he no longer has the right to take up my time. 

“Save the shit Eren,” I interrupt him, “You are going to listen to what I have to say and then I’m going to leave and never talk to you. I suggest coming outside and closing the door because I doubt you want any of your family members to hear this.” Eren looks scared and he quickly steps outside. He shuts the door and he stands in front of me barefoot. I almost want to scoff at him but I hold back. 

“You have done nothing but made me feel terrible about myself for the past couple weeks. Why? I thought of all people, you would be the one who I could trust. I thought you had my back! You lead me on promising things that would never happen with false love. If that weren’t enough, you thought that you could just mess around with other people and get away with it? You made me feel worthless and like I deserved it. Well you know what? Fuck you, I’m worth it and fuck you for making me think for the slightest second that I’m not.” Eren stands in front of me, watching me take all of my pent of anger and sadness out on him. By the end of the rant, the waterworks are back and I can feel pity radiated off of him. 

“Jean, you know I never meant to hurt you like this. It was a mistake, cheating on you, and I’m so sorry. Can we just start over?” He says and takes a step towards me. I just shake my head and step back, away from him. I can’t let him get in my head again. 

“No, it’s too late for us. Goodbye Eren Jaeger, I hope I never see you again.” I turn around and walk back to my car. I hadn’t turned off the engine, so I drive away quickly. I end up having to pull over because I can barely see through the tears. I sit in my beat up car on the side of the road for nearly half an hour before I gain my composure. I know who can make me feel better but I’m scared to see him because I’ve been avoiding him all week. I’ve been avoiding everyone all week, dismissing text messages, deflecting phone calls, and hiding in my bedroom alone. My parents are barely ever home, so that just made everything easier. I know he won’t be rude about what I’m going through even though he will probably be holding back the teasing “i told you so”. I blow my nose with a napkin from my glove box and drive in the direction of his home. It’s still considered early out right now but he’s a morning person and I know he’ll be awake. 

I turn into the parking lot of the familiar apartment complex him and his mom live in and stop my car in an empty spot. I don’t bother checking myself in the mirror, I know I’m a mess. I can picture my bloodshot eyes and splotchy cheeks. I walk through the lobby and towards the stairs that I climb slowly and one at a time. I stop at the third floor and walk down yet another hall to get to apartment #23. I knock twice with much less ferocity than I used with Eren’s door. Thinking of him makes me sick and want to cry again. It takes a minute but eventually he opens the door, surprised to find me waiting for him. 

“Jean, you look awful, what happened?” He asks and stares at me with concern and I look away from his gaze, pretending that my shoes are suddenly the most interesting things in the world. He waits for my reply and I try and steady my breathing and untie the knot in my throat that’s preventing me from speaking. 

“I don’t know, I’m sorry.” I sigh and finally look up at him. He looks like he always does, dark hair framing his face, freckles like little constellations spattered across his cheeks, and light brown eyes. He doesn’t say anything when I attempt to choke back a sob, he just wraps his arms around me and pulls me inside. I melt into his embrace and my tears stain his t-shirt, my arms hug around his slightly taller frame. We stand there for what feels like an eternity, me crying into his chest and him holding me. This wasn’t the first time. At some point he leads me to the couch in the living room of his apartment and walks away from me. I curl into a ball and bury my face into the side of the couch. I hear the door shut and footsteps returning to me. The couch sinks in where Marco sits down at my feet and he lets out a sigh. 

“What did Eren do?” Marco questions and I peek out from the couch cushions. I slowly sit up at my place on the couch and pull my knees up to my chest. This was a procedure that had happened many times between Marco and I for the seven years I’ve known him. I easily get too attached in the a relationship and when something goes wrong, I go crawling to Marco. He’s my best friend and the only constant person in my life. 

“He cheated on me.” I mumble and I can’t bring myself to look at Marco right now. I’d known Eren for a couple years before we started dating and he had a past with fucking over his significant other, I thought I would be the exception. So, when I told Marco that I was dating Eren he had told me that it wasn’t going to end well. I shrugged it off because I was stubborn and naive. Marco was skeptical about mine and Eren’s relationship and I’m pretty sure as soon as we started dating Marco no longer liked him. At this moment, I wish I had listened to Marco. 

“Oh Jean, I-I’m really sorry. We’re going to fix this, okay? You’re going to be get over this like you always do. I’ll be right back, okay?” He gets off the couch in a quick motion and leaves me alone in the room. I take the blanket that’s draped over the back of the couch and pull it over myself. I can hear cabinets opening and closing in the kitchen and him walking around the apartment as I wait for him to return. When he does come back, he’s balancing box sets of the first three seasons of Arrested Development, a bag of chips, and two mugs in his hands and arms. Marco sets the various items onto the coffee table in front of the couch and begins setting the t.v. up to watch one of our favorite shows. After doing so, he settles in beside me and passes me one of the mugs while keeping one for himself. I don’t say a word as he skips through the previews of the disc and starts the first episode. I don’t say a word when he puts his drink down and has to physically move me out of my sitting fetal position into a more relaxed one. He doesn’t say a word when I lean into him and rest my head on his shoulder. We stay like this for a long time, Marco only gets up because he has to put the next disc in the player. We had both already finished our drinks and the empty mugs sit on the coffee table. When Marco sits back down next to me stop him before he starts the next set of episodes.

“Marco,” I catch his attention and he turns so he’s facing me. “Where’s your mom?”

“Working extra hours, she won’t be home until tomorrow because she’s staying at Derek’s house for the night. Again.” Marco said quietly. I don’t want to press on the matter, I know how much Marco hated his Mom dating again. 

“Thanks for taking care of me when I’m like this, you’re the only person who knows how to make me feel better.” I tell him and I smile a little, changing the subjectv. He nods and I get a little more comfortable by stretch my legs out on the couch and putting a pillow against Marco. I’m not sure how long it takes for the lack of sleep to catch up with me, but when I wake up Marco is no longer beside me and the room dim from the evening light. I sit up slowly and my neck aches from sleeping in an unusual position. The t.v. is turned off and so are all the lights. I get up from the couch and check various rooms before finding Marco in his bedroom, reading a book I don’t recognize. Because I’m still sleepy and my legs feel like dead weights, I flop onto his bed beside him. 

“Feeling a little better?” Marco acknowledges me and it takes a moment for me to remember why he does. As soon as all the memories come flooding back to me, I groan. I scoot forward a little on the bed so I can rest my head on the pillow beside me. 

“No, not really.” I say quietly into the pillow. At first I don’t think he can hear my muffled response but he surprises me by gently placing his hand on my shoulder and turning me over a little. I look up into his eyes and I know the look he’s giving me. 

“I don’t want your sympathy, Marco. I know, I should have listened to you. I wasn’t thinking, okay? I don’t need you to take care of me every time I get dumped.” My last sentence is a complete lie and I know he knows that. If I didn’t want him to be there for me, I wouldn’t have dragged myself over here after this morning. I would’ve gone home and moped. 

“Oh shut up, Jean. Are you hungry? I’m going to go heat up some soup.” Marco doesn’t wait for me to answer his question before he’s pulling me out of his bed. I follow him to the kitchen where he makes me sit down at one of the chairs lining the counter. I watch him work, if you could even call it that. He searches through the cabinets on the wall and finds two packages of ramen. He starts a pot of water on the stove and refocuses his attention on me while waiting for it to boil. He rests his elbows on the countertop and stands across from where I’m sitting. 

“Do you want to talk about what happened or is it too soon?” Marco inquired. I thought about the question for a moment, was it too soon? I had been sitting on this for almost a week now. I wasn’t sure if I was going to make it through this conversation without crying, but I was going to give it a try. I take a couple deep breaths and begin telling Marco how it all started. 

“You obviously want to know how I found out Eren was cheating on me so I’ll start with that. It was in the most embarrassing way, Mikasa knew and she felt bad for me, so she told me. When I asked Eren what she was talking about the next time I saw him, he didn’t even try to deny any of it. He just kept saying he was sorry and that they meant nothing.” I pause when Marco checks on the water and adds the noodles to the pot. I don’t continue until Marco motions for me to. “I think that’s when I pretty much gave up on him completely, I gave him the silent treatment and hid in my bedroom for a week. I didn’t really talk to anyone for that week. Again, sorry about that but you know how I get. I didn’t sleep much, I just sat around, writing letters that I’ll never send and painting pictures that I’ll never finish. Something in me just snapped this morning, so I stormed over to Eren’s and yelled at him on his porch and then I came over here.” I finish and Marco nods. 

“I hate when you do that to yourself. Isolating yourself from the rest of the world is not how you problem solve.” Marco tells me and then turns the stove off. He adds the two seasoning packets to the boiled water and noodles and lets the soup cool. I watch him open one of the kitchen cabinets to get a bowl and then split the soup evenly in each bowl. I give him a grateful nod as he sets one bowl down in front of me. 

“Whatever, what’s done is done. I’m finished talking about Eren for now.” I state and eat a spoonful of soup. We eat in silence, he looks up at me every once in awhile. I know he’s just worried about me but it annoys me that he’s so protective. I’m an adult too, we’re the same age! 

“You can stay over for the night if you want, I’m not busy and even if I were you could stay here.” Marco offers and I accept his offer. He says that we could watch a movie or something and I nod along. Whatever he wants to do, I will. I help him clean up after we both finish eating and he silently thanks me. Marco lets me borrow a pair of his sweatpants and a t-shirt for the night. I ask him if I can take a shower before we settle in and he replies with some smartass comment along the lines of “you need one!”. I get a towel from the closet and quickly strip as soon as the bathroom door shuts. The shower is short and I pull on the borrowed clothes. I find Marco sitting on the couch, texting someone. 

“Hey.” I get his attention as I plop down beside him on the couch. He types a few more lines of words before he sets his phone down on the coffee table in front of us. He smiles a little before asking if I have any ideas on what we should watch. I suggest Scott Pilgrim vs The World after scanning through his movie collection because who could go wrong with that movie. We settled into comfortable positions like we had this morning and started the movie. 

I was content here, hiding away at my best friend’s apartment, watching a movie I’ve seen before and laying in a bundle of blankets. I think Marco had a special sixth sense of knowing how to make people feel better, at the least he knew how to make me feel better and that’s all that mattered to me at the moment. Marco wasn’t getting irritated by my constant mood changes today, he helped me through them. I forgot about Eren while I enjoyed the movie with Marco. At some point near the middle of the film, I had adjusted myself so I was leaning most of my weight on Marco but he didn’t seem to mind at all. 

I truly hoped that I would be able to get over Eren easily but so far it doesn’t look like it. Sure, Marco was able to cheer me up a little bit but what about tomorrow when I have to return to my empty house? I was able to tell Eren off this morning but a part of me was afraid that if he were to come up to me asking for another chance I would give him one. I try and just focus my attention on the movie, or Marco’s even breathing, or just the ticking of the clock across the room, anything but Eren. I was frustrated with my emotions, if I know Eren isn’t good for me, why do still feel like this about him? I glanced up at Marco to see him intently watching the movie and he must have felt me staring because he flicks his gaze to me. 

“Everything okay?” He asks me. The movie is forgotten as I scan his face. Why does he have to be so damn caring? I don’t deserve someone like Marco as my best friend. He waits patiently for my response, I try to come up with a lame excuse for my random outburst of emotions that he can probably read. Marco had always been able to read me like an open book. 

“Just tired.” I shrug slightly and look away from his questioning eyes. I pretend to be watching the movie while he watches me. I avoid eye contact for the rest of the night because I’m afraid I’ll cry again if I see his sympathetic eyes. When the movie eventually comes to an end, we say quick goodnights and he drags his feet all the way to his bedroom. I try to send him silent apologies through the walls of his apartment because for some reason I think that’ll work. I curl up under the blankets on the couch and bury my face into one of the many pillows. I hope that Marco knows that he didn’t do anything wrong, this was all me and my need to wallow in my sadness. I thought a week was enough, I was wrong. I wish Marco didn’t have to be the one to deal with this. Someday he’s going to realize how annoying I am. 

“I’m sorry.” I whisper out loud, I know he can’t hear me.


End file.
